Doomsday Preppers: Kellene Bishop

This episodes’ second segment looks at Kellene Bishop, the so-called ‘gourmet prepper’.
Despite prepping for “a financial collapse which will result in the End of the World As We Know It!”, her whole strategy is based around food, and I’d have to describe it as hoarding…so that when shit goes down, you can keep eating like you do now. She has years worth of food stored, and lives in SLC; I’m going to go out on a limb and infer that she’s Mormon.
Unfortunately, there’s no mention of a garden, or a cow in the backyard, or anything fresh, just store-bought ‘shelf-stable’ canned goods and stuff. Yeah, you have 8 years worth of processed, fatty foods stored up, but what happens when that eventually runs out? I really think she needs to change up her pre-disaster diet to include something more green (I’m not just talking sustainable here, that also means vegetables; lady needs to eat some salad, instead of bread, cheese, eggs, and instant potatoes).

Honestly—and I’m no psychiatrist—I think she’s a good candidate for…I don’t know what, some kind of neuroticism. When her husband says, “Yeah, my wife does like to store a lot of food…”, I thought, no buddy, it looks like that’s all she likes to do. Her whole life seems to fixate on food—storing it, cooking it, and eating it. When you spend six to eight hours a day stockpiling food, I think you’ve crossed a line.

Food aside, she and her husband picked a really surprising way to carry on secret conversations post-disaster: learn Tagalog. Really? Just so they can talk to each other when they’re sweeping their house for bandits! I don’t know if there are many Filipinos in Utah to chat with, but unless they have plans to visit Oceania anytime soon, I’d suggest learning something actually useful. I’d go with Russian or Mandarin—at least then they could communicate with the occupying overlords in the event of a Red Dawn scenario!

Thankfully, she does redeem herself by putting a big focus on teaching self-defense classes for women, which is always a good thing.

*Because Mrs. Bishop is a prime example of this, I should mention here that most of the people being profiled on this series have something to gain from it. They either have books, blogs, podcasts, or youtube channels on the subject, and want some free publicity, even if it means broadcasting details of their survival strategies to the world.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by ovencannerlover7 on 28 April, 2014 at 08:01

    love the sarcasm here – Kellene Bishop is of the LDS faith. It is the church’s position to store enough food and water for their families for at least one year or more. They have written manuals on this subject. They also are the originators of the bug-out bag prepardness industry. Kellene Bishop doesn’t just stock food. She stocks food, water, emergency supplies, emergency and disaster prepardness supplies. She is among the three million plus preppers in the US. This man’s article suggests, I guess, a case of the haves vs the have nots; a bit of jealousy maybe? Who knows? But one thing is for certain – the day will come when people will not be able to buy or sell in the manner in which they do now – if there is a total collapse of the US dollar, grocery stores will be empty within one-to-three days. Rather be safe than sorry!


  2. Posted by Kyle on 3 September, 2014 at 22:12

    This woman is in no shape to survive anything but perhaps a potluck.


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