Doomsday Preppers: Mister Wayne

I’ve noticed that these episodes seem to start with the most interesting people and end with the least interesting. This one is no exception.
Here we meet another smart, first-name-only prepper, this time known only as “Mr. Wayne”. He and his wife own three acres of land in central Texas that they have turned into a small vineyard. He claims he’s spent $160,000 dollars on his preps, but as he explains his strategy, I have a feeling a large part of that amount went into their wine-making enterprise.
He sees the big crisis looming on the horizon as “China’s domination of the world’s economy…and time’s running out.”
Mr. Wayne is concerned that when China calls the USA’s trillion-dollar debt, the US dollar will go worthless, leading to panic and then widespread pillaging. He’s afraid that we’re “not going to see it coming!” Actually, I think we do see it coming, but nobody’s doing anything about it (and if it’s going to be fixed, I think we’re gonna need really drastic measures).

Because he wisely sees that gold really has no value (now or post-disaster), he’s banking on using his wine as an alternative currency. He says that it’ll be useful as trade (people will still want to drink!), and he’s probably right, but…you can’t eat wine.
He produces about 600 gallons per year (he calls it Wayne’s World, harhar), and buries an ever-versatile shipping container to serve as his wine cellar (this costs $13,000.) Which is a great idea because, what with the whole year-round 55 degree nature of underground stuff, he can use it as a root cellar too. It was also nice to see his photos of the process of burying the container; it’s clear he’s done more than simply than bury a box in the dirt.
While he’s showing off his cellar, he opens a can of dog food and samples some pieces of duck or mutton or horse or whatever grade-D meat product folks feed to their pets. I have no problem with eating dog food. Go for it.

To defend his acreage, he has at least 25 guns. This is fine, having enough guns and ammo to fight a small war is great, but once you shoot it all, what then? Mr Wayne is somehow the first person on the show to make use of the awesomeness that is RELOADING. Finally! And not just reloading with factory-made bricks of lead, but casting bullets from old wheel weights! Which is even better, because they’re free (pick them off the streets while you’re urban backpacking, or ask around at your local tire repair shop)! A man after my own heart—I’ve been picking lead tire weights off the streets wherever I’ve lived for years now.

Then things start getting legally weird. In addition to all of his guns and ammo, Mr. Wayne plans on using more serious firepower to defend his farmstead from the yellow menace of invading Chinamen. Like pipe bombs. Which I’m 99% sure counts as BATF ‘destructive devices’. So like Pat Brabble and his 151-proof ‘Molotov cocktails’, Mr. Wayne and Cousin Jesse waste something expensive (six years ago, blackpowder was about $20 a pound; I’m sure it’s gone up since then) for entertainment value.
During this section, a caption pops up to inform us that pipebombs date back to 1886 Chicago. This refers to the infamous Haymarket Riot, which is the source of the stereotypical mustachioed, bomb-throwing Anarchist. And it’s a negative stereotype that continues to this day.

The experts say, “start a garden”. Because like I said, you can’t eat wine.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. […] Reading Materials « Doomsday Preppers: Mister Wayne […]

    Reply

  2. Posted by Denn on 31 January, 2015 at 11:29

    is the wine any good? What does he want to trade for it?

    Reply

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